FOR SALE: Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Got married last week and no longer need them. Wife knows everything.
FREE: Puppies. 1/2 Blue-tick hound. 1/2 sneaky neighbors dog.
FOR SALE: Rottweiler puppies. Eat anything and are fond of children.
FOR SALE: Used toilet. Won’t flush but good for a potted plant holder.
FOR SALE: Slightly used dentures. Only two teeth missing.
FOR SALE: Used tombstone. Perfect for someone named Johnny Boy “Chubby Possum” Boudreaux.
HELP WANTED: 4-year old teacher needed for morning preschool. Experience required.
HELP WANTED: Technician for dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
HELP WANTED: Person to take care of cow that does not drink or smoke.
HELP WANTED: Need captain to run shrimp boat. Must be at least 18 years old. 20 years experience required.
HELP WANTED: Need nanny for 5-year old. Must be able to make ketchup sandwiches and get Sharpie ink off of anything, including 5-year old.